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入院当時は自分は生きる事への精も根も尽き果てており、でも入院させて頂いた自分よりも、もっと辛くて苦しくて悲しくて大変な思いをしてきたのは母親の方だと気づくのは、入院中に仲間の会の一泊研修会で母親の体験談を聞かせて頂いた時でした。徴兵保険とは、養老保険の一種で子供が小さいうちに加入しておくと、その子供が徴兵などのときに保険金が給付されるというものであったようだ。保険料が払えなくなっても、返戻金がある種類の保険であればそれを原資にして保障を継続することが出来る（保険期間を変えずに保険料を少なくする払済保険、保険金額を変えずに期間を短くする延長定期保険など。